I see great things ahead.

One day, I discussed with a friend of how 2011 somehow passed-by really fast...

‘Where were we when it went by with the speed of time?’

I recall in my tumblr where I started early in the year 2011, I started to make a resolution that I wanted to paint and draw more...

Then somehow I don’t like tumblr and left it high and dry.

By the end of the year, I opened it again, and it reminded me of how I haven’t really fulfilled my 2011 resolution...

And it was an 'a-ha' moment for me to look back upon what I had missed during those moments of pursuing.

Not just feeling that I underachieved things in some areas, I also had moments in 2011 where too much sadness had come to mind.

I got pregnant and yet I had the miscarriage.

I lost my grandmother whom had been like a mother to me and my brothers. and how I saw her fought with cancer within her last days of her life.

I had to meet and deal with new people, and yet it was the first time I really dislike my job throughout my working experience.

I had unfortunate events where I had to fight and confront with anger and tears every single day within months.

So when I look back, 2011 for me was filled with dilemmas and rage.

I did found my other calling and no one thought it gave me a whole new Idea of me. I found Jollyroo.

I made friends through my cupcake business and beyond that, I received appreciation on how my cupcakes brought Joy to other people’s life.

Another highlight when the year ended was when I had the opportunity to travel with a great writer, Eka Hindra, and how she introduced Ivan and me with our Nation history of Ianfu. With having 3 bags on our back, along with Eka and another new acquaintance Meicy, a photographer, we traveled through central Java for almost three weeks.

The trip was interesting, I was personally not in the best condition, and yet everyday I was very fortunate to meet very extra-ordinary woman who were the war victims of world war two when the Japanese came to Indonesia between the year of 1942-1945.

These great women opened my eyes, and they made me see things differently now.

I thought I was strong, but when I heard their stories, I’m nothing close to their fights with evil in this world.

I began questioning on the sacrifice I made and the problems I was facing.

Really, should I be more complaining now?

During the trip, I cried hopelessly at nights, and when I got up the next day and I met this great woman, they gave rise to hope with their stories.

(God bless their mind & soul)

And every time I’m down on my knees, I also remember what my grandmother always said to me, ‘God had given you good things in your life, thou shall never complain, always be grateful’.

I must confess my relationship with God is like I come and go coming to his classes. But God always open the door even when I decided I want to be naughty and cutting class just for the sake of fun. God is there when i'm in detention and thought life was unfair.

So then despite of all the things that happened, I became closer to God.

God brought peace to my mind and always gives me reason to be tougher.

The peace God had given me until now had led me to this thought,

“I see great things ahead”

yes… I feel this year will be great. I feel I shouldn’t let anything bring me down.

I feel all the sorrow I suffered is giving me strength to be a better person to pursue my goals.

I feel the people I find intolerable are the people who made me a stronger person, and that I should not hate but thanked them.

I feel that I should always smile in every step I make.

I feel that what I’m writing now is how I sign a form of agreement to myself to always live my life with dreams and feeling grateful everyday.

I pray for a better year... Amen